Hot Topic: A letter to the other side

*note: umf has discussed this topic with a number of gentlemen we know, and recieved many opinions on multiple experiences with females and general consensus agrees with the position set out here. However, umf can only speak on its behalf, and so the letter below represents the sentiments of a majority expressed through the words of one guy. I don't wanna fuck every girl in the world...kthatsit...
--the fittedwearer

Dear chicas/women/females/bitches/whatever makes you happy to be called,

Now, let it not be said that I don't appreciate the opportunity to shower with a chick once in a while...I mean hell, come on...but I've always had a question for y'all. Just why is it that every single one of you use scalding hot water when y'all in the shower? At that point its not even a shower any more its...some kind of hellfire mist spray. You might as well go downstairs and hop straight in the water heater. Can you at least touch the cold knob a little? I understand hot water gets you clean and all that, but I'm pretty sure you can get a decent shower without water the temperature of molten rock.

I just don't understand...how do y'all not feel that hot ass water singe your flesh? I mean, yeah 99.7% of the time there's gonna be some kind of benefit whenever a female is so kind as to suggest a tandem shower, and I think that's great...but shit, one time I actually turned red (well, burgundy...lookit, there ain't but so red I can possibly get) from half a hour in the coed sauna fountain. That shit can't be healthy. Peep, I'm not saying I'm not grateful...I am. It's just...can we turn it down just a little next time? The shower, of course...you good other than that...

ell oh ell/smiley face,
AJ