The 'Easy Curves'...(or the Tittyflex 7000, as I call it) is a device which purports to enlarge and strengthen the breasteses with a dual resistance thingamajawn or...whatever. Finally, help for the boardchested is on the way! No longer will niggas play chess or spades on your torso!
Riiiight...point is, if you ever seen the commercial, you know my problem with it...everytime they use it in the commercial, the parts being excersized move in a very disgusting way...like they dislocated. Now, me being me, if I say a titty did anything in a repulsive manner, rest assured it did. There are very few nonsexy tittiemotions, but this device has one.
It like...expands and tightens...remember the part in the Matrix where Neo jumps into Agent Smith and his body starts making those weird fleshy slithering movements? That's the effect the 'Easy Curves' has on those wonderful things. Its foul, trust me.
Not only is it seriously unattractive to watch, the results may not be quite what you expect...you see, I'm a titty connoisseur, and I know these things. They're made up mostly of fat, with an underlying pectoral muscle. The muscle is what you're excercisin, not the titty.
Your marble size twins ain't gonna magically plump up and get big, no...what will happen is your pecs gon be big than a mafucka and you gon have a small rounded rock solid bulletproof breastplate like those weightliftin bitches. Unless your husband beats you and you want a little protection around your vital organs, I really don't see why anybody would want that. Its stupid, its creepy, its unnecessary, it overall fails. Take it off the market, melt em all down, shoot the inventor, you know the drill...
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