ETCAM 6- Subway Buffalo Chicken

I saw it on the commercial over the weekend, which is a good enough reason to try damn near anything...it looked damn good on TV (the ad boasted that the chicken was 'piled high'! Not stacked, or layered, but piled. What black person can resist chicken piled high? 40 acres, a mule, and chicken piled high... far as I'm concerned, that's the American dream...), to the point where I had to have one as soon as possible. That turned out to be lunch yesterday. Hey, it's only $5 for a limited time right?

I powerwalked to the Subway near my job, where the 'sandwich artist' (it was just a lie stitched on his apron...dude wasn't drawing caricatures on the rolls in mustard or anything, I was actually a bit disappointed...) on duty stopped looking like he wanted to off himself long enough to ask what I wanted. I told him, then turned my head out the window to look at an attractive passerby...by the time I turned it back, he was holding my sandwich. It was almost like he produced the shit from his back pocket. 'Suspicious', I thought...but the mighty roar of my unfed insides overruled any hoagie-related concerns I had. Fuck it, I just wanted something to eat.

Well that's exactly what I got. What stands out about this sandwich is how incredibly mediocre it was. Yeah, it's Subway, but they used to make a decent sub/hoagie/grinder/hero pretty recently...they've fallen off hard. Let's see, where to start...the bread, which was called 'Italian Herbs and Cheese' used to be my favorite that Subway offered. At one point, it was a flavorful blend of cheeses baked onto an oregano and garlic encrusted loaf of bread. It added a little something to most sandwiches. Now it's just sorry ass white bread with an antique finish laquered onto it....I don't know just who the hell they think they're foolin, but that's not the same at all.

Moving on to the chicken, as you can see in the pic, it was not only NOT piled high...but makes only a guest appearance...not a lot of meat there, folks. Making it worse, the 'buffalo' sauce they used on the chicken was generic and devoid of heat. Actually, it didn't really taste like much of shit...kind of like just orange food coloring they soaked the chicken in before slapping it on a roll. Even an attempt to add a little spark by throwing a few jalapenos on it was to no avail. Yes, there was plenty of lettuce and tomato, but that's not what you paid for. I couldn't really be disappointed in it...after all, it wasn't bad...it just wasn't good either. I felt like I wasted 20 minutes eating it.

I was able to get through about 65% of it before the blandness overwhelmed me and I gave up. I mean, yeah, it was lunch, it was food, it was edible...but it was nothing special like I expected. Hell...if you just want sustenance, you could eat whatever that Cream of Wheat lookin shit they ate in "The Matrix" was...but if you're looking for something you can actually say you enjoyed, these are not the subs you're looking for.