Oh, really?

Now I'm sure by now unless you live under a rock (next to a pineapple) you've heard about Balloon Boy and his parents. I've never actually seen these people until today, but I knew they were white. How? A) The little boy's name is Falcon (all silly black folk names are completely fabricated...whitefolk prefer to use actual words, like 'Apple' and 'Wingspan') B) the story involved a hot-air balloon. A fucking hot air balloon. C) they claimed to leave their young son unattended near said balloon with straight faces...and the folk around them believed it. You do the long division on that one.

Racial jokes aside, their stupid little story was later exposed as a bullshit lie. Yup, fabricated the whole thing. The weeping, the cries for help, the lamentations of parents with a lost child, fake, fake, fake. (Big surprise: the couple met in acting school...) Why would parents lie about the safety of their child, decieving their friends, neighbors, the media, and the police and other folk who wasted tax dollars combing random fields and shit looking for little airborne Falcon? To flip the buzz they woulda gotten into a reality show. To get their 15 minutes of fame off of sympathy for a child that was never lost, and get a fuckin reality show nobody was gonna watch anyway. (Seriously, what was it gonna be about? Would you watch that shit? 'Broken Wings: the chronicles of a grieving family'...must see TV, right? The fuck outta here...)

That's bad the fuck enough (I personally think Falcon should be taken out of that nest by the gov't, and the parents thrown in the birdcage for 5-10 years...) but what's really wrong is it's a symptom of a much bigger problem that I'm noticing more and more as time goes on. You see, the fucked up part about it is TV is so bad with the reality thing, everybody and they fuckin momma got a reality show. (News flash, reality addicts: it's all scripted...ain't a damn thing real about it) On some real shit...they'll make a reality show about anygahdamnthing.

I saw one the other day called 'Pawn Stars'...it followed the exciting life of a pawn shop owner. Riveting. Or how about 'Jon and Kate plus howevermanyitisnow?' Yay, you have a lot of kids...great job reproducing...not just anybody can make 8 kids, that takes skill. What about 'Tiny and Toya' (don't you dare correct me on those womens names if I got em wrong...you know what show I'm talkin about) ...just because you have a kid by a rapper you get a show? 'Bridezillas?' (Shut up, I flipped past it once or twice...) "Oh, I'm a complete bitch who needs my teeth kicked out the back of my head and I yell at my friends who are doin me a fuckin favor, I deserve airtime, who wouldn't want to watch that?"

It's gettin outta control, and now everybody wants to be on TV...so what there's absolutely nothing interesting about your extraordinarily average life...just make some shit up and it's only a matter of time before VH1 gives you a show called '*insert your name here* of Love', at the very least. Just because you have a pulse and a need for attention does NOT mean you deserve to be on television. The shit is beyond sad. How long ago was it that you had to...y'know...have a talent to appear on TV? Now all you have to have is a fucked up story or a eager willingness to act like a fuckin dickhead to get your time in the magic box...and as long as that's true, we'll have attention-seekin fucktards pullin dumb shenanigans like this for the fame. We gotta draw the line somewhere, people...that's all I'm sayin.