Minor Life Failures 10- Wade in the Water

This one is so simple yet so annoying...it's a quick and easy way to fuck up your whole morning. It's a rainy day, and you're just walkin down the street going to class/work/whatever productive activity you should be doing in the daytime. You have an umbrella, so you both feel smart and are stayin reasonably dry. (quick semi-sequitur: I've heard it said that men don't carry umbrellas...I say that's Chicken McBullshit...fuck all that, I don't wanna be that asshole that comes inside all drippin and moist lookin like he just got off one of those log rides...now if it's just a drizzle, man up...but if it's ark weather, grab a umbrella, dickhead...movin right along tho...) Oh, look a puddle...it doesn't look that deep, why not walk through it?

Bad decision...that puddle that looked about 2 inches to the bottom was actually about knee deep, and now your socks and the bottom of your jeans are wet. Fuckin delightful. Now, while this might sound like a minor inconvenience, it actually is deceptively suckish. Every time you take a step, your wet socks squish (a pretty disgusting feeling) and your jeans give your legs a cold, clammy embrace. Of course, it will not be over quickly and you will not enjoy this...wet socks and jeans take approximately 5 hours to dry during normal wear, and by that time you will be going right back out into the rain so the whole vicious cycle can happen again. Fun for the whole gahdamn family.

Now for some solutions. You could either deal with it (maybe you like wet clothes, I'm not here to judge...course there's that whole bacteria and mold thing, but I guess you accepted that...), you could do something well thought out, yet all the way extra like wrap your feet in shopping bags or carry a change of socks/jeans/sneakers (but really, who does that?) or you could handle it the fun way and just jump over them like an Olympic hurdler (yes, you had the right answer as a child, you just didn't know it). Just...if you're a grown man, please leap in a masculine manner...no splayed arms, spirit fingers or ballet moves. Your dad would be ashamed. Anyway, that's the one I'm going with next time...just wish I had thought of it this morning lol....