*fittedwearer's note: This shit took 15 minutes to write, but almost 15 years to feel...this goes out to all my real Cowboys fans who stuck by thru feast and famine...on to Minnesota!

Birds fans got too cocky, they swore they would win
but played so bad last night it should be a sin
a complete whuppin, a utter defeat
stomped out by the Boys 2 times in a week
that game from last year, finally erased!
fuck a division title, it's the ring that we chase
all week was harassed by Igglefans talkin shit
bringin up the past and 44-6
refused to realize that shit was mad late
the Birds ain't beat us since 2008
they love to remind us, just to be grimy
that we have no rings since about the mid 90s
I always come back, I respond in kind...
"Last time y'all got one, were you even alive?
oh wait, can't be, y'all trophy case empty...
you views on the Cowboys hardly offend me..."
All that ended last night, and damn was it sweet
I look forward to Monday, and an office so meek...

In case you ain't see, oh, lemme recap it
the offense so smooth, D giving McNabb fits
DMac came down the tunnel, he swiveled his hips
played an air guitar, he looked like a dick
he had no idea, no inkling at all
that out on that field was a fuckin buzzsaw...
the game started fast, the Cowboys scored faster
Asante covered Austin, and Miles ran right past her...
It was tied 7-7 when to our surprise
Mike Vick stepped back and hit Maclin in stride
that set off the Birds fans, they all danced and cheered
sang that stupid fight song like a bunch of queers
they hopped around drunk and spelled "Eagles" with pride
but in short order, they soon would realize
their team was outmatched, they sucked, stood no chance
they would feel like jerks, just like DeSean's dance

Their defense was helpless, their offense submitted
for all that, the whole Eagles team should have quitted
no dice tho, it took 60 minutes to see
we could take that shit or get it willingly...
the defensive line smacked McNabb around
sacked him and hit him, put his ass on the ground
In the 3rd it was over, a blowout, go home
well, nobody told that to our Felix Jones
that man got the ball and ran fast as hell
insult to injury, scored a TD as well
it was 34-14, now it was official
I needed a drink, Birds fans needed tissue

Where was DJax's "we gon sting that ass?"
funny thing, when he's covered, he's not all that fast...
I mean, to his credit, he scored a TD
it ain't count tho, the Birds still was down 3!
they scored 14 this game, and I think that's great
cuz 7 days prior, Eagle donuts they ate
(It's not really a snack, it refers to the score
of the 2-4-zip thrashing just 6 days before)
It was never a game, a replay of last week
kinda like a curb-stomp, a bite of the streets
Y'all might say I'm gloatin, I say you damn right!
I'll talk shit if I want, my poem, my site!
I just know I'm happy, be happier still
when wagering fans pay their shit-talkin bill
Not playin bout that...y'all betted, I want it!
when I make my rounds, I'll come up bout $2hunnit
Now about who is better, there can be no doubt...
there's no joy in Philly, 3 strikes and you're out
beat that ass thrice, nothing you can say
now shut the fuck up, sit down, go away
Your season is over, now listen and hear...

(go Cowboys!)


Anonymous said...


Eff your rhyme/riddle/poem,
whatever you want to call it.
Yeah I'll give it to you, your team butt-fucked its target.
Faggots! Effin' Brokebacks!

I can rhyme too punk!


Ciara said...

Bravo, nigga. BRA-VO.