One of the most hearbreaking lies youngins believe is about that wonderful made-up holiday a lot of us are finna celebrate. See, when you're young, everybody feels the love...you go to school, see the paper hearts with all your classmates' names on them, heart shaped cookie, get your tiny cup of Hawaiian Punch and your little baggie of heart-shaped flirty chalk candies (you know...with the cute little phrases: 'UR2cute', 'be mine', 'let's hug', 'lick me all over'...that type of shit...) and really get into the whole holiday spirit.
Then the fun (and tragically decieving) part happens. The valentines are passed out and exchanged...to and by everybody. The whole class's parents sent with their little angels a box of 32 V-day index cards (the kind that come in sheets...available for 2.39 at Rite Aid, Walgreens and other fine retailers), all with the Powerpuff Girls or Scooby-Doo delivering some cute message and inscribed to: the recipient, from: the giver. Even the less popular kids get one...Jimmy the nose-picker, Latoya who still wets her pants every so often, and Steven who eats paste...they're shown just as much Valentinial spirit as anybody else. That's a nice feeling, right?
Well...it is until about middle school...soon after that, the cruel truth is exposed: the Valentines stop coming to everybody at a certain point in time. I could see how it would be a shock the first year you get skipped over after being included in the festivities every year to that point. Most folk still get at least one or 2 and the lucky hot topics of the class get more...but folk like Jimmy, Latoya, and Steven are overlooked when it's time to get the lollipops/flowers/balloons/chocolate bunnygrams that are delivered to each class as gifts from their friends and admirers. Slowly, V-Day after V-Day, the pity gifts dwindle for those on the fringes of popularity/attractiveness.
More time passes and shit gets realer...after a few years, Jimmy (who still picks his nose), Latoya (who has poor hygiene below the equator) and Steven (who's just plain creepy now) are left alone each and every 2/14, unloved, unwanted, miserable. They are forced to realize that when you get older, some folk just gets no love. It's a rude awakening...but maybe it wouldn't be so rough if they never thought everybody gets an arrow from Cupid's quiver on Valentine's in the first place...cuz as we all should know, that's just a lie they tell the chirrens.
The assembled assholectualisms of writer, career social networker and and part-time superhero AJ Moses.
2 comments:
My God, you brought me back with the Valentine's Day cards from CVS! We used to get a sheet with everybody's name on me so we wouldn't forget anybody.
yooooo i was just explaining this to somebody last night! like when you're little the sentiment really isnt there i was happy about v-day because that meant a party and games...and i mean it kind of isn't now, because everybody really only gives valentines because "you're supposed to"...but i mean when you're older is when it should matter...and it does...you take a day out of the year to go above and beyond (now of course if you're married this is why you have anniversaries which i think should be way more extravagant than v-day...i mean shit "oh we STILL together?!?! well damn that is something to celebrate")
and the funny, pretty, smart, witty, straight teeth, good hygiene girls stoll get left out...it never matters how weird you are
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