Fat Mama Cheeseburger (Part 2 of 2: 1,000lbs to Die)

fittedwearer's note: Yes, this post had to be 2 parts...as you can see, the bitch too big to fit in just one...umf isn't zoned to bear that kind of load, and I don't want my site to crash under her massive bulk. Anyways...

This chick in the pic, whose name was Donna Simpson until I renamed her Donna the Hutt, is the famous 1,000 pound lady/world's heaviest mom. (What an honor!) Well, she doesn't weigh 1,000 yet...but as you can see she's working on it. It's one thing to have a little meat on your bones, quite another to look like you don't have any. I mean seriously, how disgusting is that? Your lifelong goal is to be the fattest female fuck on the face of creation? Where does your life go wrong to the point where you say to yourself "I'm really not too good at anything that doesn't involve stuffing my insatiable suckhole with anyfuckinthing that is unlucky enough to be within reach of my bratwurst-lookin fingers, so I might as well be the best at it!" Well, let's see if we can't take a look at her life and find out, shall we? (I swear you can't make any of this shit up...)

Donna the Hutt was born to an overweight mother who showed her great love for her children by gorging them. You know those Maury "My Baby is 5 Years Old and 300 Pounds" kids? Yeah, Donna was one of those. Her mother fed Donna with anything that would stay still long enough. Eventually, Donna ballooned so much that doctors and other health professionals criticized the drive-thru parenting style, citing health risks for Donna. However, Donna's momma defended her deep fried child rearing methods to the death...literally, she died of food-related health concerns soon afterwards. (That wasn't a sign for you, babe? Really?)

After eating her way through her teenage years and singlehandedly driving Sizzler out of business one photocopied 2-for-1 coupon at a time, she found true love at the age of 19 with...go on, guess...the head chef at a steak restaurant. It was a match made in hell's kitchen. Some couples go to the movies or go to a jazz concert or some shit as a date. Not these 2 lovebirds...their idea of true romance was "staying up all night eating huge piles of steak and mashed potatoes that he would bring home". (That's a direct quote!) Their love, and Donnas waistline, continued to grow. I guess it's true that nothing says lovin like something from the oven.

Sadly, eventually their relationship starved despite being overfed. They divorced. Donna the Hutt was devastated. However, she developed a coping mechanism...jogging? The bottle? Hell no...it was eating! (Surprise!) She got over her lost love one supersize at a time. Luckily, she was able to find a new man to shower her with bouquets of flowers and buckets of chicken, her current husband, who is a self-described "belly man". (And a AJ-described "brave man"...dude reportedly weighs about 120...let's be real, do you realize every time he slides up in it, he stands a very real chance at never coming back? That dude risks his life every day...even cops only get shot at like once a month...) He loves her just the way she is, and would even like her to be bigger and achieve her goal. He has dedicated his life to feeding all of her appetites. His life revolves around her...and with the weight difference, he might literally revolve around her in an orbit...chick has to have her own gravitational pull.

All jokes aside, if you look the life of Donna the Hutt, she really had no other choice but to be o(mg!)bese. Her entire existence was the perfect storm of overweight tendencies, both of birth and environment...so you can't even really blame her for being a disgusting, amorphous slob. (I will anyway, just for GP) I do kinda shake my head for the kids tho...WHEN she dies because her heart simply can't pump the bacon grease flavored red Jello that her blood just has to be by now, who's gonna care for them? It's sad that neither she or her husband who enables her see that this kind of thing is irresponsible both for themselves and their children. But hey...what do I know...too bad you cant cover common sense with chocolate and bacon bits and feed it to her on the sly...might be the only way she'll ever get it.