Yo quiero y'all to stop...

So I was flipping through channels like pretty much any other boring Sunday afternoon when I saw a commercial for Taco Bell's...shrimp taco. Yeah, you read that right. An annoyingly accented 'shrimp blogger' (it really sounds like an insult...let somebody call me a shrimp blogger on the street, ima trash down on dude...) apparently travels the globe looking for the finest shrimp...he goes to remote islands and famous seaports all over the globe, tasting every prawn in his path...but apparently finds the best shrimp in the world hiding under cheese, guacamole, salsa and lettuce in a flour tortilla bought in a Taco Bell in North Philly...which I find a bit hard to believe, to say the least.

Let me just say, I don't think I've ever spoken, typed, or thought a negative word against Taco Bell in my 22 years, but yeah...we need to talk. What is good with fast food joints getting way ahead of themselves on the menu tip? Since when do we eat shrimp from Taco Bell? I mean think about that...that's a lot like buying a pizza from Burger King or a McCheesesteak or something. (Or wings from Checkers...ugh, wouldn't that be...oh, wait...) I even like how they show it on the commercial and it's packed to the brim with shrimp like it's gonna explode with shellfishy goodness. Please don't insult my intelligence. I know when I get there and order it there are gonna be like 5 and a half dime-size shrimp and a whole bunch of shredded cheese...and I get to pay 3 bucks for the privelege...do I look stupid to you?

I love the description too. "6 richly marinated shrimp nestled in a warm fresh-baked flour tortilla..." Négro, por favor...I love Taco Bell as much as the next guy but I can honestly say I've never had a 'warm, fresh-baked flour tortilla' on any on the 53,721 occasions I've been there. Now everybody wants to be a gourmet? Long John Sliver's talkin bout their "freshly breaded panko fish with shaved potato columns" and shit...mafucka, that's the patty from a Filet-O-Fish and some french fries, you ain't slick! I just don't understand...I can see trying to pull in some new clientele, but fast food is fast food, and trying to class it up and get all out of character on us just is not what's poppin. Please, fast food joints...stay in your drive thru lane...