Cortisolution

The Pretty Truth (story)

Well, here's proof...as any dude who has ever been tongueknotted while considering approaching some glowingly attractive woman can tell you, a gorgeous gal can overload some men's circuits to the point of malfunction. (I like to open with a joke...it usually works, and the obligatory smile disguises the nervous, awkward giggle I never quite dropped from my early days passing "do u like me, check yes or no" notes in social studies class.) Ladies who are cute enough for this to apply to, that's why dudes will come up to you and say some ole random dumb shit...they're not at full capacity...I'm sure "Ay ma what's good with some buttcrack" might have translated into something intelligent had you not been as gorgeous and scrambled his communication generator. There's actually a scientific basis for that.

You see, male attraction to someone they feel is "out of their league" is a stressful situation. It releases (the clasp on his wallet and) a chemical compound called cortisol which negatively impacts mental agility, decision-making and the thought process in general. In layman's terms, "pretty girl make some boys less smartful." Even worse, over an extended period of time cortisol can contribute to such disorders as chronic stress, hypertension, and clinical depression. Yes, "killer beauty" can become quite the literal phrase if you let a bitch stress you. (It can even cause ED, which means even though you may have actually convinced her to get horizontal with you, you won't be able to do much...it's like shooting pool with a rope. Maybe somebody can sell you some generic Levitra in the streets...) Sounds like a high price to pay for a sweet piece of arm candy, right?

Wrong. There is a loophole that can make dealing with this type of woman healthier. (well, actually if she's that fine, for most dudes the sheer pretty is justification enough for the suffering one would have to endure...they get away with a lot if you let them lol...'nother post, 'nother time...) You see, in order for this effect to take place, you have to actually think that the chick in question is that serious. I get around that by assuming I'm a pretty cool guy myself and that nobody's out of my league. (Assuming this belief is true may require a great leap of self-deception on a case-to-case basis, but you'll be healthier for it.) Does it sound a little prickish? Admittedly...but I'm healthy than a mafucka, so the results speak for themselves. So next time you're transfixed by some chicks to the point of zipped lips, fix that shit quick before you make yourself sick...for real tho.