Mommy!

This poem goes out to the mothers out there
on their special day, to show that I care...
shoutout to the mommies, I know y'all go through it
(especially singles...I don't know how y'all do it!)
I can't bake for shit, and flowers soon die
but fuckit, the one thing I can do is write...
(mine will not read this, you out of your mind?!
there's cussin' in here! I'll get put in time...
out!) Yes, even as a grown ass man
she touches my life...behold her mighty hand!
"Momma's boy"!?, *pssh* ain't we all, literally?
(unless you got 2 dads...I don't wanna hear that story...)
anyway, like I was saying, my mommy is the greatest
the days and years go by, but my mommy never changes
don't always get along, but today I sing her praises
trust me, there's a lot worse I COULDA been raised with
My mom coulda spent my first decade in the club...
coulda showed indifference, she chose to show love
coulda left me home with Zebra Cakes and Pixy Stix
I coulda been her 8th kid on sperm donor 6!

She coulda been like all these twentyten freaks
letting dudes toss condoms on my baby seat...
my mommy was down...she sacrificed for us...
coulda had a Coach bag...she went to Toys R Us...
coulda got her hair done, had a ponytail
she coulda had sleep (2 kids made that fail)
She coulda been out, enjoying her life
instead she stayed home and played mother and wife
coulda spared rod, ended up with child spoiled
she coulda slacked off, instead she chose toil...
coulda let me come home and just play with the Genesis
she made sure I did homework, math and vocab sentences
she ain't let me touch that game til that shit was finisheded
(I never beat Sonic...I hold that against her, I admit...)
she coulda been free, and let her kids roam
around in the streets, she told us "Come home
at sunset, that's dusk, streetlight time...
if you're not on the porch, then your ass is mine!"

I remember it well, I hated it so...
"I'm 8 years old now, aww....why can't I go?
they all get to stay out, why I'm goin iiiiiin?
I'm not Lil Wayne...it's a shame, it's a sin..."
I was pissed off inside, but dared not talk back
She ain't play that shit...I coulda got smacked...
It was for my own good, and I can see that now...
the kids left to the streets now in jail...or underground...
she could be on crack and have crackhead kids
Instead she taught me what a woman is...
(whoa, not like that! Ain't from that far down south...
she said find a good girl...outside of the house...)
she cared about us, and she had to be hard
especially raising a little retard
like myself (then again, most small children are...)
I appreciate it more than I'll fit in a card

all the meals, the advice, the pops in the head
show that she cared if I ended up dead
(You think that's not special? Some bitches is crazy!
do you watch the news? Every day it amaze me...)
Moving on, you're damn right my mommy is special
I could sneeze in Australia, she'd call me like "bless you!"
any chick can get knocked up, like all males bust nuts
any girl can get pregnant, that ain't special...BUT...
real women are mommies...that's different, no lie
real mommies who read this should swell up with pride
the neglectful fakes should commit suicide
don't take care of your kids? Please just curl up and die!
Slit your throat, fall in traffic, bang yourself with a rocket
Oh wait, damn...I got pissed right off topic...
My mother's named "mommy"...hey, fuckit it's true
(It's "momma" in public, or just plain "mom" too...)

...but whatever you call her, you should take today
to show her you love her in your special way.
I won't take much longer to finally say:
Here's to you mommy...happy mother's day!