Cursed Words

I'm a person who realizes the English language is quite an interesting little toy. (It's not? Then how the hell else can you play on words?) But, like some toys, parts of it present a choking hazard when placed in the mouth. I'm not talking about standard cuss words, I don't even look like the kind of asshole who gives a flying fuck about that type of shit. There just are certain words I just can't stand to hear or speak, either because of definition, connotation, sound, or even just my own nonsensical reasons triggered on by the random mental images they inspire and I would appreciate if none of y'all would use them around me whether we're online or off. (Of course, as a professional smartass, I realize posting this list is an engraved invitation to pack every one of them into a sentence and use it...please don't, I'm asking you as a friend...lol..) a partial list with definitions and explanation follows:

aloof - apart, at a distance (esp. in interest or emotion)

Why the hate?: it just sounds it describes like a cocky, overbearing middle school principal or some self-important asshole cop with control issues at home that he takes out on the streets...nosir, I don't like it..not one bit.

blog- what you're reading right now

Why the hate?: Well there's an entire post about that, but I can sum it up quickly... 1) it sounds like somebody throwing up their internal organs, 2) I have one and I sort of feel like a hypocrite, 3) there ain't a lot of synonyms for it so I can only dance around using it for so long...grr...

bloviate- to speak in a pompous manner

Why the hate?: As if being pompous wasn't bad enough, it sounds like some kind of gay scientist trying to describe his first experiments in...chemistry...eww...

coitus- sexual intercourse

Why the hate?: It might be the only word to describe sex that is actually a turnoff...if a girl screamed out "I love our coitus!" in the middle of sex, I'm pretty sure my dick would deflate so fast it would shoot around the room like a balloon somebody blew up, didn't tie, and let go. Any word that can make sex sound unsexy is just wrong.

cunt- in the words of Jake from "Two and a Half Men"...oh, YOU KNOW...

Why the hate: Just look at it! It just looks vulgar as all hell, doesn't it? For a word that means what it means, it's not even vaguely arousing. It's just acerbic...seriously, make sure nobody can hear you, then say it out loud real quick...it just feels like poison and razor blades come out whenever the word is spoken. It's the one cuss word that makes even me cringe. Luckily, it's not used a lot on this side of the pond...yay!

erotic- of a sexual nature

Why the hate?: Oh, guess I was wrong about "coitus"...this one is pretty bad too. It just conjures up images of shady old men browsing the aisles at an adult movie store, trenchcoat lapels high as a disguise, lube in one hand and dick in the other asking "where are all most erotic materials!?"...that doesn't sound sexy at all, at least to me.

eviscerate- to remove the insides of something

Why the hate?: I don't like blood too much, and every time I hear it I picture some scene straight out of the "Saw" series...some poor, still living guy slit down the middle like a fish staggering down the street with his entrails dragging all on the ground before slowly dying in a pool of his own waste spilled by his cut intestines...lovely, right?

menstruate- do I really have to?

Why the hate?: I'm a boy.

pox- one of any number of afflictions characterized by small lesions on the dermis

Why the hate?: Doesn't it just sound horrible? I mean, the definition is bad enough, but it really makes you picture boils and pimples and shit bubbling on the surface of somebody's skin...if I didn't detest the word so much, I would wish genital pox on those I hate...but I can't even bring myself to do it...

probe- an investigation, an exploratory procedure

Why the hate?: Ever seen a movie with aliens? Yeah.

pus- what's probably in your pox

Why the hate?: What's to like about pus? It sounds like exactly what it is, and that's the worst part about it.

smegma- Google that shit, I'm not typing that...

Why the hate?: Google it and find out...otherwise just trust me...

Well, that's a partial list of the words even I find offensive. Once again, I ask you to avoid these words as much as possible, but if you must...please speak responsibly. For umf, I'm AJ...thank you, and good night.