Food for Thought
You see this? This is the sign that was posted on the office refrigerator this morning. This shit is sad...in case you weren't here for the PSA on the subject, we have a problem around here with sticky fingers, especially involving delicious lunchtime edibles. (Although it definitely doesn't have to be tasty to be a target...I got 2 chargers stolen within a month. I even wrote a letter about it...) Apparently, we have such a rampant epidemic of food filching that there actually has to be an office charity hotline for all the poor, starving, gainfully employed people who were so depleted by a morning of sitting on their asses looking busy and tweeting that they just had to steal somebody's lunch to survive. ¿Que el fuck?
Now, it goes without typing that office lunchthievery is a heinous, evil crime on par with slinging puppies into a river, but what fucks me up about this is I work in an office of so-called "professionals"...legal professionals at that. Seriously, how does one actually steal somebody's lunch out of the office refrigerator and then go to court and litigate? Hell, how do you ever look them in the eye again? I know if I swiped somebody's Panda Express, I couldn't bear the guilt...it would consume me faster than I consumed it. The taste of teriyaki and shame would be in my mouth all day. A full stomach is just not worth an empty soul to me.
Besides...when do they get time to eat the stolen lunches? Maybe it's just me, but I remember the adage "there's no such thing as a free lunch", and that's true even if you're eating a hot lunch because the price is your dignity. It can't be fun standing in a dark corner of some file room or hiding under one's desk in a suit and tie wolfing down a half eaten burrito to avoid being caught like a kid who smuggled a box of Ring-Dings into fat camp. The shit is unseemly as all hell...but I guess when you work with lawyers, you work "with criminals". Hmm...since they're hungry attorneys, maybe they wouldn't mind being served some justice...stay tuned... ;)