So I was on the phone with my pop the other day (I don't talk about him as much as my mommy, but he at least got a post on here) when a conversation that is inevitable for many young adults like myself came up, the one that begins: "So...when are you going back to school?". Yup, that's right...the mind behind umf is that of a college dropout. It's a dark, shameful secret that has plagued me for about 5 years now (mostly because my parents keep bringing it up). It got me to thinking to how I ended up in this position in life.
I wasn't always this way. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away known as Baltimore, I did 2 semesters at Morgan State University. I learned a lot there (very little in the classroom) but one thing I learned is that college is not for everybody. In fact, it's barely for anybody. Think about it...you take people of wildly varying emotional maturity, shove them all into a dorm together, let them make their own schedules by choosing from a litany of classes they will likely never see or use again, put every possible distraction at arm's reach, and then put a 4-year shot clock on their complete assimilation into polite society (and relieve their parents of about $100,000 in the process...my parents should be happy I saved them about 3/4 of that). If you manage to survive this somehow, your reward is a piece of paper saying that you are smarter than other people (that and crippling debt...it's like a rite of passage to adulthood) ...more or less, it's high school with more sleepovers.
Naturally, this did not work out for me. There I was, 17 years old, endowed with freedoms previously unthinkable to me and simultantiously charged with navigating the direction of the rest of my life. You can imagine which concept held more interest for me. I never decided on a major (how the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life before I've even had a chance to do anything?), was consistently late for or absent from my early classes (thought since I got up for high school at 8 it would work in college...lol...), took advantage of any and all distractions (like a responsible American) and learned next to nothing in the classes I did show up to (because it all fell into Category A: "Shit I already learned in high school or just know since I read books and have the internet" or Category B: "Shit I don't give a flying fuck about, Advanced Level"). By years' end, the novelty had worn off. Since TV and movies tell me that I should love college for every second I'm there, I began to wonder if I really belonged there.
Freshman (and only) year came and went, and I had a summer to reflect on my college experience. Did I have fun? Yes. Did I think it was a place that would yield a productive 4 years for me? Absolutely not. See, college, like high school, runs on the premise that you don't know a damn thing until they say you do. For a place with a strong reputation for free thought and intellectual growth, it sure insists on you doing things its way. We now know that not everyone learns the same things the same way (and some don't learn a damn thing besides "it's better to cheat than repeat"...if you can copy and paste your way to a diploma, what does that say about the legitimacy of it as a indicator of intelligence?) but college follows the flawed platform set forth for the 12 years preceding it...that as long as you pass the test by writing the correct answer down, you will retain what you have written down beyond the test because...uh...because.
In the midst of all the characterizations of college as a incubator for eager young minds and all that shit, people forget what a college actually is...it's a business. They're in the business of selling you as many overpriced books, impossibly irrelevant electives, and $70 team sweatshirts as possible. Whether you actually learn anything depends on what you didn't know in the first place...which, if you deserved to pass high school, isn't much. Hell, I believe just about any major could be achieved with a year of focused classes just like those commercials they play on daytime TV, (for criminal justice, bookkeeping, clerical work, nurse practitioner, paralegal, or even get your GED!) but if they only sold you the classes you needed, you would only spend 6 months there and not have to sell your body to pay your student loans back.
That being typed, i actually did pretty okay in my 1 year of college...I got the same uninterested, no-effort B's and C's that defined me as a student throughout my educational career. I decided that if I couldn't get anything more out of it than in the last 12 years I wasted learning a bunch of useless bullshit, then there was no point wasting my time with it. It just wasn't for me. I never went back. For the next 5 years or so (including right this minute) I drifted through life, bouncing from job to job. I worked at UPS, I sold sneakers, worked at the airport for a couple months, and eventually one day got on Craigslist and found my current job (true story!) hoping one day to find out what I actually wanted to do with my life, deciding on my own, and being fine with not knowing for now.
Of course, my parents had a harder time with this than I did, and this brings me back to my conversation with my pop. He wondered aloud whether I was going to stay in this dead-end job forever. It's understandable...he came from a time where you either went to college or worked in some steel mill (diner for the ladies) forever. Seeing that I did not return to school, he envisioned me chained to a fast-food cash register wearing no shirt, whip marks, and a paper hat dreaming of the one day in like 10 years when I would be promoted to the drive thru. When I first made my decision, they seemed kind of ashamed, to be honest...when people asked them at parties what their son was doing since high school, I'm pretty sure they told them I was killed in Iraq or something.I'm just kidding (I hope), but there is some truth to it...there is a stigma attached to people like me...lazy, stupid, uninspired, unmotivated, useless, lacking potential...less than half of that is true. In fact, quite the contrary.
I wasn't always this way. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away known as Baltimore, I did 2 semesters at Morgan State University. I learned a lot there (very little in the classroom) but one thing I learned is that college is not for everybody. In fact, it's barely for anybody. Think about it...you take people of wildly varying emotional maturity, shove them all into a dorm together, let them make their own schedules by choosing from a litany of classes they will likely never see or use again, put every possible distraction at arm's reach, and then put a 4-year shot clock on their complete assimilation into polite society (and relieve their parents of about $100,000 in the process...my parents should be happy I saved them about 3/4 of that). If you manage to survive this somehow, your reward is a piece of paper saying that you are smarter than other people (that and crippling debt...it's like a rite of passage to adulthood) ...more or less, it's high school with more sleepovers.
Naturally, this did not work out for me. There I was, 17 years old, endowed with freedoms previously unthinkable to me and simultantiously charged with navigating the direction of the rest of my life. You can imagine which concept held more interest for me. I never decided on a major (how the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life before I've even had a chance to do anything?), was consistently late for or absent from my early classes (thought since I got up for high school at 8 it would work in college...lol...), took advantage of any and all distractions (like a responsible American) and learned next to nothing in the classes I did show up to (because it all fell into Category A: "Shit I already learned in high school or just know since I read books and have the internet" or Category B: "Shit I don't give a flying fuck about, Advanced Level"). By years' end, the novelty had worn off. Since TV and movies tell me that I should love college for every second I'm there, I began to wonder if I really belonged there.
Freshman (and only) year came and went, and I had a summer to reflect on my college experience. Did I have fun? Yes. Did I think it was a place that would yield a productive 4 years for me? Absolutely not. See, college, like high school, runs on the premise that you don't know a damn thing until they say you do. For a place with a strong reputation for free thought and intellectual growth, it sure insists on you doing things its way. We now know that not everyone learns the same things the same way (and some don't learn a damn thing besides "it's better to cheat than repeat"...if you can copy and paste your way to a diploma, what does that say about the legitimacy of it as a indicator of intelligence?) but college follows the flawed platform set forth for the 12 years preceding it...that as long as you pass the test by writing the correct answer down, you will retain what you have written down beyond the test because...uh...because.
In the midst of all the characterizations of college as a incubator for eager young minds and all that shit, people forget what a college actually is...it's a business. They're in the business of selling you as many overpriced books, impossibly irrelevant electives, and $70 team sweatshirts as possible. Whether you actually learn anything depends on what you didn't know in the first place...which, if you deserved to pass high school, isn't much. Hell, I believe just about any major could be achieved with a year of focused classes just like those commercials they play on daytime TV, (for criminal justice, bookkeeping, clerical work, nurse practitioner, paralegal, or even get your GED!) but if they only sold you the classes you needed, you would only spend 6 months there and not have to sell your body to pay your student loans back.
That being typed, i actually did pretty okay in my 1 year of college...I got the same uninterested, no-effort B's and C's that defined me as a student throughout my educational career. I decided that if I couldn't get anything more out of it than in the last 12 years I wasted learning a bunch of useless bullshit, then there was no point wasting my time with it. It just wasn't for me. I never went back. For the next 5 years or so (including right this minute) I drifted through life, bouncing from job to job. I worked at UPS, I sold sneakers, worked at the airport for a couple months, and eventually one day got on Craigslist and found my current job (true story!) hoping one day to find out what I actually wanted to do with my life, deciding on my own, and being fine with not knowing for now.
Of course, my parents had a harder time with this than I did, and this brings me back to my conversation with my pop. He wondered aloud whether I was going to stay in this dead-end job forever. It's understandable...he came from a time where you either went to college or worked in some steel mill (diner for the ladies) forever. Seeing that I did not return to school, he envisioned me chained to a fast-food cash register wearing no shirt, whip marks, and a paper hat dreaming of the one day in like 10 years when I would be promoted to the drive thru. When I first made my decision, they seemed kind of ashamed, to be honest...when people asked them at parties what their son was doing since high school, I'm pretty sure they told them I was killed in Iraq or something.I'm just kidding (I hope), but there is some truth to it...there is a stigma attached to people like me...lazy, stupid, uninspired, unmotivated, useless, lacking potential...less than half of that is true. In fact, quite the contrary.
I'm not lazy, I'm selective with my energies and don't use them for things that don't interest me. I'm not stupid, I'm just too smart to let anybody else tell me what to do with my life, whether they never went to school a day in their life or have more degrees than a bird flu patient. I'm not uninspired, in fact I'm so inspired, no classroom can hold my passion. I'm not unmotivated...showing people I can do it my way and do it better is all the motivation I need in life. I'm not useless, I just haven't figured out what I'm for yet and don't pretend to know. I don't lack potential...I think mine is near-infinite, and that's why I refuse to choose my path until I've seen all the options (and maybe made a few up). As usual, the traditonal way of doing things and the AJ way of doing things ain't even 3rd cousins. So yeah...fuckit...I don't know what I want to do with my life...I'm a college dropout, and I'm cool with that. (Now if only I could tell my parents that...lol).
10 reasons this post doesnt suck:
Okay, normally I'm pretty dang flippant but I'm going to give you my feelings straight from the heart: Go back to school. It is so evident from the content of this blog alone that you are one incredibly bright dude. The fact that you see college as a big racket? More evidence of that. It's also evidence of your state of mind five years ago.
I'm not going to get into the whole 'you'll make twice as much with a degree' and stuff. You know that and frankly, it's true. What I will say is imagine yourself 20 years from now, unable to do what you really want because you don't have that blasted piece of paper while some moron with one gets the job YOU WANT. You're too young to close any doors and, while you might feel you're too old to go back now (maybe not, but I'm on a roll now) you are going to look back and realized how young 22 is.
You know how big a fan I am of yours. I want to see you succeed. College will open up more doors than you can imagine.
I'm done scolding you.
*HUG*
I'm with you dude. Fuck college. School blows. I'm much more interested that when my kids grow up, they can't walk by someone in need without helping, than I am if they get A's in school. Everything I've ever needed to know I learned on the job. I know people who went to 6 years of college, got a diploma, still didn't know shit when they got on the job, don't like the field they got a degree in, have a master's degree, and still make less than i do. So college can suck it.
I'm with Janene. I am a lifetime learner. I have graduated from two colleges and from university. I did not I did not follow the path directly from highschool to university. I chose to be educated when it suited me and my lifestyle to do so and that was while I was already working.
Also note that colleges and universities are not the only places I received an education from. I was also educated through trades programs, online programs, and from being mentored by elders in my community. I sought them out and asked to teach me specific skills and they taught me far more than I ever imgined when I approached them.
To be clear I'm not taking the position that the only place to get an education is in a recognized institution, and I think parents who take that stand do so erroneously because they have been culturallt brainwashed to believe a piece of paper opens doors when there are legions with papers who are still looking for work.
I learned more about life and how to survive and thrive by being raised in the bush and later by survival camping with old pros than I every did within hallowed halls.
All of those together consitute my education and without the academic component of learning how to learn I would not be as succesful today as I am now.
I love learning and strongly suggest that the idea that one can train to have a single job for a lifetime and be content with that, and be assured they won't lose that job in the future are utter nonsense. Circumstances change as well and this is worth noting. What is sufficient for you as a single man today may not be sufficient for you if you marry and have kids. Also what's important to you today may not be important to you a decade from now.
Stats demonstrate the average North American has between 5 and 8 jobs in their lifetime. They also indicate that lifetime learners have higher job satisfaction levels than those who pigeonhole themselves by refusing to expand their knowledge and skills and become resilient enough to seize opportunities to explore new directions.
Never stop learning and never allow yourself to become pigeon-holed. That's my advice.
Well, being a college dropout as well, but being forced to it, I believe you should go back to college if you feel like it. IF you don't, then don't. It's really your life and if some day you have to regret it, well, you don't want to die without any scars, do you?
On the other hand, there are plenty geniuses who haven't been to college, and it takes a certain kind of formatting from previous years to actually gobble up all the college system and ask for more.
But being a dropout doesn't mean you have to stay at the steel mill. Find a vocation, train, be the best you can be, and turn it into profit or art. You seem a bit like me, uninterested in restricted systems, you need to find your own vibe. IF that's what you're doing, man, keep doing it. You'll get there, hopefully. If you don't, well, it's always a risk college kids weren't able to take.
I already have a degree and when I graduated, I didn't know what to do next, so I started with Sociology. However, I ended my last study before I finished it. Reason? I was tired of doing things that I didn't want to do anymore. It's fairly easy for others to say 'Oooooh finish college! You'll be happy that you did.' etc. I've heard it all and in the end...I was the one who actually had to read the books, do the exams & write the essays. It's easier said than done. And believe me, when you have to search for motivation & inspiration when you know in your heart it isn't for you...well it will start taking it's toll.
I'm not saying college is bad. Not at all. But I've learned the hard way that if you don't want to do certain things in life and you keep struggling with it, it will bite you in the ass.
You can learn a lot on your own. There are courses you can pick up and that won't take as much of your time and you can still get certificates to show the world you have the skill. It's annoying that society places such a huge deal on a diploma, which is basically a piece of paper in the end. The knowledge & skills are inside of you. A diploma could make your life easier, but I have seen a lot of struggle around me from people with diplomas. So having a diploma doesn't necessarily guarantee you a job.
It's just one of the many ways to do things in life ^_^.
Loved this post.
@ Janene- thanks, that means a lot. I sometimes wish I had a clearer idea what I'm doing, but I enjoy the ride...and since I take y'all along with me, I'm glad you do too. I'm always cool with a little friendly animadversion... *hug accepted, returned*
@ Justus- how am I supposed to change my mind with you validationg my current beliefs and shit?!
@ TT- and that was my point, that education is more than a signed paper with a golden seal on it...it's the sum total of what you pick up on your journey through life.
@ JitterJohnny- welcome to umf!
On topic tho, yes, you get it. I've never been into cookie-cutter anything, least of all education...how can one solution to something as important and open-ended as making a reasonably well-rounded person be right for everyone? I'm just not a college person...as of now.
@ TJ Lubrano- Thanks :) and:
"I was the one who actually had to read the books, do the exams & write the essays"
People don't seem to realize how hard that is when your heart is not only not in it, but nowhere near it. You're right, there's more than one way to do damn near anything, and I'm determined to find it...
Yeah, college was never for me. It all seemed pointless. I never took it seriously. I was only there to evade the draft, and cause havoc. I got bounced out for disciplinary reasons in my sophomore year, and was finally re-admitted when the Dean was sure I wouldn't burn the school down. After 7 years, amidst a torrent of D's and F's, when my life was out of danger, I finally managed to eke out a degree in PE. Being a total screw-up and breaking all the rules was the best part of my college experience. Later in life, when I had settled down, I made two feeble attempts at going to graduate school, but each time I dropped out after one semester. Scholastic life seemed as pointless as ever. Upshot is, I've lived a marvelous life without it. I've always had tons of freedom and have done pretty much whatever I liked.
If I could go back in time, I would have never went through the college system and tried to find an internship in the music/sports industry (my real passion), and build up from there. It's really all about your experiences and what you've accomplished/learned from it.
College is really just fun for partying and I've already forgotten everything I've learned, so was the $ worth it? Hmm, I probably could have invested it in better things..
@ NP- "I've always had tons of freedom and have done pretty much whatever I liked."
If I can major in that my whole life, I'll get the greatest education possible...
@ J- Hey, what's good? Welcome to umf!
On topic tho, I'm thinking you're right...the best way to learn is by doing, not theorizing in some classroom. I also agree that the tuition money you would put out could be spent better (not that I have it anyway) ...it's like the Theo theory from the episode where he tried to hustle his parents into giving him 4 years tuition in cash since he wasn't going to college lol...
I know how you feel. I'm 31. Own my own company. Married with a kiddo. Pretty satisfied with my life. And my mom still asks if I plan on going back to school.
I actually took a few classes a couple of years ago, and I had a hard time taking it seriously. Maybe if the professors had any real world knowledge I may have paid more attention.
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