Amsterdammit!

Everybody has dream vacation spots...some people want to go to the Bahamas, others prefer Aspen...hell, there's even a tourism industry for New Jersey somehow. ("A gigantic thoroughfare between DC and New York smelling vaguely of industrial waste and held together by a series of diners surrounded by houses and farms? Now that's New Jersey! We also have beaches by default since the East Coast has been trying collectively to push us into the Atlantic for centuries. Please visit us...please? We'll pump your gas...come on...please?")

Unsurprisingly, one of mine is Holland...well, that's the way I like to play it off to people that aren't cool, of course when I say that I mean Amsterdam, mecca of stoners everywhere and coffee shop capital of the world (also current home to some of the world's lowest crime and drug abuse/ddiction rates for developed countries...take that, gateway drug theory).Well, it was, anyway. You see, some Dutchbag over there decided to be a total buzzkill and make it illegal for tourists (read: foreigners) to visit their famed and now private cannabis clubs. Now to enter one, you'll have to show ID that proves you're over the age of 18 and a Dutch citizen (because fake IDs are impossible to produce by any known process).

Suffice it to say that one of the big dreams of my life is obviously now up in smoke...but that's not the only thing that's about to evaporate into thin air. I'd have to imagine there are many, many folk out there just like me who now have no reason to visit Holland. Wait, as a matter of fact, I don't have to imagine, Wikipedia says 3.7million international visitors per year venture there from their homelands just to have a smoke (yeah, it surprised me too!). I guess I can dig the intent...they want to change their image, but look at it this way...that's almost 4 million people who will keep themselves and their dollars at home now during a massive global recession...awesome job, guys.

Say what you want about any other attractions...I hear there are canals, museums, whores, shitty imported beer and all that, and they looked pretty nice when I Googled them...but that's about the extent of my interest in them. They have all that bullshit almost everywhere...why fuck up your niche? If I'm gonna get off my couch and go somewhere, I want what I'm going there for...I'm not the kind of asshole who orders chicken fingers in a steakhouse.

It's like Red Lobster discontinuing their biscuits or Idaho deciding to not produce potatoes any more because they want to move on from their starchy image. I'm sure there are landmarks in Idaho that are meaningful, but fuckdammit I don't want history, I want the world's best French fries! It's a pretty simple concept, but apparently beyond the grasp of Holland's government. Now instead of traveling abroad, I'll just go to Cali with a "case of migraines"...thanks for stifling my cultural growth, assholes.

On the flip side, this might do one good thing...for the first time in our lifetime, we'll get to see the fresh effects of a new prohibition. I mean, it's not like people who have to go there anyway for extended periods are going to stop smoking...they'll figure out ways to get it just like we do here. Watch as these places start to close, the legitimate economy loses a bit of steam from losing a bit of smoke. Watch as a black market for the stuff springs up overnight. Watch as crime rates go up a tick or 2 from all the non-Dutch citizens forced out of the bars and onto the street to deal with slightly less savory folk. Watch and see what a lucrative business the manufacture of fake Dutch IDs becomes...and that's not a national security risk or anything.

It's not like the money is going to stop being made...it just won't be taxable anymore. The fact is, as long as there's somebody who has an item and somebody willing to pay for it, the item will be sold, legally or otherwise...only difference is the legal route has rules, regulations and safety measures to protect everybody involved. The underground...not so much. The world may need to see it happen in a current event to see the error of their ways. Pardon my optimism (and the pun) but maybe, just maybe, this could be just the spark the legalization movement over here needs. I don't know...but what I do know is that my eventual world tour will have one less stop. Your loss, Amsterdam.