Prima Facebook: a guide to what your profile picture may say about you

*fittedwearer's note: Hey, anonymous asker...told you I got you :)

There's a Latin term, "prima facie", that literally means "on it's first face" or loosely, "the first impression". It's often used in legal circles and courts of law, but today I've decided to apply it to the internet's favorite court of public opinion, Facebook. You see, everybody and their baby momma has a Facebook page, and the first thing anyone sees of it is the default picture. What some people don't know is that a lot of information can be gleaned simply by looking at one's profile picture, at least on a basic level.

Of course, people are more than their Facebook pictures just like their statuses are not necessarily a thorough window into their soul (at least I hope not in some cases)...but if a status translates into real life as a t-shirt with a phrase printed on it, a picture could pass as your actual face...after all, you put it up, so it can be safely assumed that it says something accurate about you that you want said...but what are you saying? Below is a list of common picture types and the messages they may send to others...whether you realize it or not. As an added bonus, for each picture type, I'll throw in which Facebook Species tend to use them, for even further insight into the online personality of all your friends...let's begin.

A normal pic of one's face (smile optional)- I'll start out with this one because although it was the original picture form, even back before the internet was out (yes, there was that time...my kids won't believe me, but there was) it's become increasingly rare in the modern day. This standard picture serves no purpose but to identify the person in it...which, of course, is the entire point of a picture.

What it says about you: "I'm a reasonably normal human being, or at least I'm good at masquerading as such."

Facebook Species: potentially universal.

The Paycheck Pic- We've all seen this one...it's when some Wendy's assistant manager cashes his weekly wages and takes a picture of all $548 (a dead giveaway is $5's and 1's cleverly tucked to the back of the knot) to show all his friends how he's liviiiiiin for the cityyyyy....

What it says about you: "I've never had anything of value and have probably never seen this much money in the same place."

Facebook Species: Faceballer, Facebook Gangsta, Very Special Friend

Toke Shot- For some reason, posting pictures on the internet of yourself using (currently) illegal substances has become all the rage in recent years.

What it says about you: "I really, really want you to know I smoke weed...and I don't want a job."

Facebook Species: Faceballer, Facebook Gangsta, Very Special Friend, Live Journalist

New Tat Pic- Often, people choose to let their friends know they have a new tattoo by posting a picture of it on Facebook. While this is a perfectly acceptable practice in and of itself, some of the the tattoos present ripe opportunites for ridicule, especially for those who claim they got their tattoos "for the summer". An especially hilarious example of this involves an otherwise normal picture with some ink fail slathered across the subject's face.

What it says about you: "Hey, check out what I want on me for the rest of my life!"

Facebook Species: somewhat universal, but strongly represented by Facebook Gangstas and Profile Divas

MySpace angle- This commonly female shot, accomplished by aiming one's phone at a downward angle toward the face before taking a picture, is a favorite of those with something to hide, be it a moustache, acne, a nonstandard face, or 50 extra pounds. An interesting note is that for every 10 degrees the camera is angled up, the subject appears to gain half a point on the standard 1-10 scale....unfortunately, this effect cannot be duplicated in real life.

What it says about you: "Please believe I look like this...pretty please?"

Facebook Species: Facebook Smut, Profile Diva, Friendster

Middle finger up- Another common pose involves the extension of the middle finger. This shot indicates a cavalier attitude towards one's perception, and can often be misinterpreted as a direct statement to everyone who looks at it. This is rarely the case...otherwise, you wouldn't be friends.

What it says about you: "If you don't like me or my pic, fuck you."

Facebook Species: although one of the less common poses, it is used by those in all walks of Facebook.

The image of imbibing- Many people enjoy taking pictures of themselves in various states of drinking and drunkenness...it's fun to do, but too many pictures of this type may send the wrong impression...or the right one.

What it says about you: "I'm not scared of a good time!"

Facebook Species: whichever ones drink...duh.

Cleavage Pic- Another common one for females are pictures which emphasize, or show almost entirely in some cases, their cleavage. Some people frown upon this practice, as it is inherently attention-seeking and desperate, but if those things were the best part of your personality I bet you would show them too.

What it says about you: "You, having seen all I have to offer, now have no need to concern yourself with me as a person."

Facebook Species: Facebook Smut, Profile Diva, Tabloid Princess

Butt Flick- *see above* An added note is that if the subject gets *likes* for this kind of picture and none for the normal ones, they're far less attractive than they think.

What it says about you: "This is likely better looking than my face."

Facebook Species: Facebook Smut, Profile Diva, Tabloid Princess

Gun Shot- A relatively new category, but with the advent of Facebook Hitmen, it has become necessary to list. Few people are stupid enough to appear on Facebook brandishing a gun, but every so often someone tries it.

What it says about you: "I'm way too hard for Facebook."

Facebook Species: Facebook Gangsta

Group Photo- Although most people who appear in group shots do so to be seen with a group of their friends, some people use it as a smokescreen to disguise the fact that they're the friend that make the rest look better, since not everyone would immediately know which person they are.  It's a tricky practice, but can be easily detected by pictures that lack proper tagging to create confusion.

What it says about you: "Look at everybody but me!"

Facebook Species: whoever could use a bit of camouflage

Shirtless Guy: Many physically fit men enjoy showing off their bodies to their female friends on Facebook. What they sometimes fail to realize is that they have male friends who may not necessarily want to see that shit every time they have something to say to them.

What it says about you: "I want all my posts deleted off my male friends' walls because people are starting to ask questions. Also, I was likely a fat kid...and look at me now!"

Facebook Species: Friendster, Mouse Potato, Facebook Gangsta

Significant Other Shot: While often a cute way for those who care about each other to show it to the world, in many cases one partner has a picture of the couple and the other barely acknowledges they're in a relationship. Of course, the "no pic, no claim" rule takes effect here, the party without a picture obviously isn't really in the relationship...but you can't tell the poor sucker who goes with them that.

What it says about you: "I'm taken!"

Facebook Species: couples, Relationship Hoppers

Sports Logo- Pretty obvious. However, it's always interesting to see if the logo changes to a different team in the same sport when the team's fortunes change.

What it says about you: "Go _______!"

Facebook Species: sports fans, Bandwagoners

Bathroom Mirror Flick- One of the most common kinds of pictures, it has a few telltale signs...a camera flash in a mirror, the camera or camera phone actually being in the picture, and...oh, the fucking bathroom. One of the most entertaining parts about this variety of picture is that people often try and make their sexiest faces in the least sexy room in any given home. Luckily, with the advent of front-facing cameras for smartphones, this kind of picture is expected to decline.

What it says about you: "Check my style...and my tile!"

Facebook Species: Facebook Smut, Profile Diva, Mouse Potato, Insomniac, Live Journalist

The Flipbook- This is the most vexing ones, as in most cases the location and facial expressions in the picture do not change, causing a flipbook-type effect if you scroll through their pictures really fast. The purpose of taking the exact same picture with a different shirt every fucking day has never been fully explained, but one theory states that most people who do this are conceited and can't get enough of looking at their own face and assume all their Facebook friends are of the same mind...this is almost never the case, as nobody needs more than 3 of the exact same picture, let alone 300. The funniest examples of Flipbooks are those which get few if any *like*s.

What it says about you: "Look at me! Lookalookalookalooka! I'm pretty! Look, look, look! You need to know what I'm wearing every day! Look at me! Look at yesterday's picture! You know you love my face...right? RIGHT!? Am I as attractive today? Tell me I'm cute! Validate my looks! *sigh* I'm so insecure..."

Facebook Species: Profile Diva, Facebook Smut, Mouse Potato, Live Journalist, Tabloid Princess, Pity Magnet, Very Special Friend

All right, I hope you enjoyed that look at what your picture can say about you. Hopefully, your picture sends a good message about you...or at least an accurate one. For umf, I'm AJ...thank you, and good night.