*fittedwearer's note: So I finally got my new, keyboard-less phone...with this new Swype system, typing is easier than I thought. I'm getting used to it way faster than I expected, but there's really only one express way to get my shit right...writing an entire umf post on it! Dora can go fuck herself...I'm gonna be doing some heavy Swyping today! (Oh, don't give me that shit about talking to kids that way, theres no way that little wandering bitch is still 7...she's at least legal now, backpack and all.)
Long range sexual conduct has been a staple of people too far away (either through distance or timing) to actually have sex. Originally, this took the form of saucy letters written with feather pens containing flowery, poetic descriptions of lovemaking by fireplaces and such, sometimes including a sepia-toned, photograph of a barely displayed bare ankle to arouse the recipient.
Now, after progressing through mediums such as phone sex and that weird thing where people had anonymous internet sex with folk they met in chatrooms, (I never saw the appeal of typing dirty with one hand with some 35 year old guy named sexkitten_69) it's as easy as clicking "send". Yes, the future has given rise to a whole new dimension of human sexuality...it's commonly referred to as "sexting", but I prefer the term "hollagrams" (more about that here). We all know what it is...but what many of us don't seem to know is that there are (or should be) rules for the responsible use thereof. More folk do it or have done it than will readily admit, and there are very few guidelines for safe use of sexutechnological advances.
As a result, people tend to fall into 3 distinct groups on the entire concept: those who enjoy it, those who wonder why the hell someone would do something like that, and those who have somehow been burned by it. For the latter 2 groups, I can understand their concerns...after all, this kind of thing is relatively unstudied. I think it's because nobody will talk about it...maybe they're afraid to. Well, people, this is what I do...so here it is, the 10 Notifications of Futuresex.
1) Thou shalt not send late night flicks whilst under the age of 18. Seriously, kids. You know what that is? It's child pornography. You know, that stuff that can get you sent to jail for decades at a time? Yeah, that. I don't care how many times they ask or how much you like them, just don't do it. As a matter of fact, if youre a minor who happens to like someone older enough to do that, do them a huge favor and don't do it...the asses you save may be both of yours.
2) Thou shalt not share. That's not cool. I know, I know..you want to show all your homies the new hottie that totally just sent you pic of her _______. 2 problems with that though...one, that pic was for your eyes only. 2, when she finds out that you showed somebody else (and she will, likely through your friend), not only will she never send you another one, she might tell all her girlfriends to handle you the same way...and being on the "do not flash" list is a fate worse than death. This definitely damn sure includes the internet.
3) Thou shalt always comply with the terms of exchange. About 78% of the kind of dealings are mutual agreements, i.e. the "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" principle. (Of course, unsolicited pics ain't exactly unheard of, but those often involve a perfect storm of intoxication and repressed feelings...don't see that every day...and if you do, please tell that person to seek help.) Reneging on this kind of deal is...well, a total dick move, so to speak.
4) Thou shalt keep your treasures hidden from prying eyes. You know one of the first things people do when they ask to see your phone? They look through your pictures. Unless you want one of your coworkers or a curious parent to see you someone youre dealing with in a very different way, you are responsible for making sure those pics don't get seen.
5) Thou shalt take a new picture for each recipient. Think of these kind of pics as sex toys...that's what they basically are. It's not too cute to use the same one on multiple people, is it? Yeah...that's what I thought. Oh, and even if you disregard this one...at least take the other names off the FWD/cc: list...have a little dignity.
6) Thou shalt delete the pics when you delete the person. I know...it's very tempting to show everybody those sexy flicks your ex (that bitch) sent you that one time, but this is a form of adult entertainment...let's be adults about this. It's just best for everyone involved. Of course, nobody's gonna listen to this one either, so maybe keep just one in case she decides to be spiteful about it...you know, mutually assured distribution and all that.
7) Thou shalt remember the Favre rule: If you're nervous about the future,make it plausibly deniable. Consider only sharing what the curious party wants to see and that alone. The ability to say "that's not my dick!" goes a long way. (Trust me, I know...someday when I'm rich and famous, some picture of AJ South may resurface...but they'll never be able to prove that thing belongs on the front of me :) )
8) Thou shalt begin all video calls decently clothed. With the invention of front-facing cameras on smartphones, (like the one this has) video calls and it's logical progression, video call sex, will be more and more popular as the technology proliferates. This presents all kinds of opportunities for wrong numbers, people besides the one you expected answering a given call, and all other kinds of sitcom-flavored fail. It's just safer to start with your clothes on...you can always remove them later (slower...yeah, just like that).
9) Thou shalt be careful in relationships. Whether video chatting is cheating or not is at the discretion of your partner. I recommend a dedicated talk about it just so there are no misunderstandings. After all...in the future, there barely is a thing as "just talking"...especially if you're butt-ass nekkid at the time.
10) Thou shalt be responsible for thyself. Futuresex is just like regular sex...you really should avoid having it with folk you don't really know and trust in the first place. I assume (perhaps wrongly lol) that you don't go throwing your 3D goodies ask over everywhere...handle your 2D ones on much the same way. In real life, you could catch something, but you can catch something here too...you could catch sight of your bare flesh all over the internets. Please, people..stay safe.
Aight, that's about all I got for you today...hopefully you enjoyed this look into a sorely neglected phenomenon. Well if you'll excuse me, I have to finish making my new phone just like my old one...pic-hiding app and all haha...
3 reasons this post doesnt suck:
That's a pretty good list. People tend to think techno-sex (to coin my own term) is worry free. Way to set us straight.
And for the record, I used to "cyber" when I was a teenager. That was, let's see, 16 years ago. Even knowing it could be some weird Bubba on the other end I enjoyed it. Kind of an interactive solo act. Hey, I was 16.
Great list!
I, for one, don't share pics of Tricia South, unless you count the rear-view Tricia South pics of my spider bite on my blog.
But nobody can prove it's my ass. :)
Look at you, going all Emily Post on us! Those are great rules, but if I were a sexter I wouldn't count on them being followed too much. The only way to keep photos/videos of yourself from getting into the wrong hands is to just not take them. I've seen more than one reputation ruined over this crap. Makes a mom want to cry!
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