Job Appreciation

If you even vaguely know me, you know that my current main source of income is somewhat unsatisfactory to me. There's a unnecessarily long post (and 1/3 of a book) about what exactly that job is and you probably don't care, but if you are curious I can quickly sum it up: pro file monkey. As you can imagine, it's an exceedingly undesirable thing to have to be underpaid to do for an extended period of time, especially when one feels that he can do something much better much better, and as a result I've made it pretty clear that I hate coming here to anybody who would listen...until I thought about it recently, anyway.

You see, there's a concept that I've always found interesting called "chaos theory", and it states that a change in a single event or decision in the course of arriving at a given conclusion can drastically alter the conclusion thereof. (If that explanation is a little wordy for you, there was also a pretty shitty movie to that effect starring that dude who used to punk people on TV and is now the half a man in a popular network television series.) 

I often wonder what would have happened if I had never gotten on Craigslist that day and applied to sit at the desk I'm currently at. Would my current path in life be different? You see, as a college dropout, my employment options are kinda limited when the guy who sold me my sneakers has a Master's. Most likely, I would have ended up doing something involving a silly hat, a spatula, taxing manual labor, or all of the above. None of these career fields provide me with the time or internet connection I need to spread my gospel all over the internets on company time...it's one of the best benefits my employer doesn't know they offer.

Even my current efforts to escape it with new endeavors ironically would be crippled without it. Here at work is my main computer...occasionally I come in to this job early just to get some stuff for my other job done. Part 1 of my book would have been about half as long if I had never worked here...the inspiration factor of my time here is almost worth all the time I wasted obtaining it. The flyers, handouts, visual aids and editing drafts for my different big projects are all on company paper. Everybody who buys a copy of "FfYL" will recieve a free authentic envelope from this office free with purchase. 

Wait...let's step it back a bit. I'm forced to acknowledge something that I've never really been comfortable thinking about as a result of my employ here. You see, soon after I was hired, I figured out that anyone who didn't enjoy the taste of short bus window on a crisp winter day could finish my job duties twice in the 8 hours I was forced to be here in order to pay my bills and buy various life enhancers. This left me with about 3 hours a day to do absolutely nothing with but talk shit on the internet...eventually somebodies told me that I should put all the aforementioned shit in one place...and 3+ years later, you now know that place as undermyfitted.

When your days are numbered in a place you've spent a long time in against your will, it's hard to help taking a step back and taking stock of your time there...just like I imagine jailfolk do when their parole date is near or an uninterested party in a relationship around the time a prenuptual agreement expires.  It's kinda interesting what leads into what, huh? Even more what leads out of what...so I guess through all my hate, I don't have any choice but to appreciate my job.


CheesyDoug said...

They say we should be grateful for what we have because it could be worse, but it is damn hard to do sometimes.

PBScott said...

This all sounds like me four years ago.

All I can say is keep trying to get out of your rut, and eventually you will. I wish I had tried to get out of my old one a lot sooner than I did.

zobop republic said...

As always DEEP STUFF! :)

nothingprofound said...

Being a writer, you'll eventually use all your experiences to your advantage. Meanwhile, for the moment, you're just biding your time, building your bridge to freedom one plank at a time.

captNaj said...

CheesyDoug- Who the hell are you telling? I was convincing myself with this post as much as any reader haha

PBScott0 Thanks, man...I'm trying about as hard as I have at anything in life (which isn't saying a lot I guess, but I'm putting my back into this one for real). I wasted a few years myself before I woke the fuck up, I doubt we're the only ones to ever do it.

ZoRe- Thanks bruh...as always, appreciated.

NP- You make it sound like some kind of superpower, turning life's bullshit into financial success hahah...hey, wait, that's awesome! I hope I CAN do that...thanks for the kind words, I'm always a bit overwhelmed by what you have to say (I'm sure you get that a lot).

Janene said...

Aw, and I think you'd look so cute in a silly hat and apron. ;) Seriously, you're right. You've got to appreciate you have, and having a job that allows you time to write (well, I probably shouldn't really say 'allows' but...) can't be such a bad one to have.