In Both Hands

Well, this should be fun. Afternoon, umf'ers...I know I recently promised full-time posting, and it's something I definitely plan to follow through on. However, in the last week or so I've been busy with a few special projects...and a kid. Some I can speak on, some I can't just yet, but I'll share with y'all right up to (and possibly just a bit over), the line of common sense and appropriateness at this time...just like always.

For starters, I'm officially a writer now. Sure, I've been scribbling shit online where people can read it for about 5 years now, and that kinda counts...but not really. Any asshole can Google up how to create their own e-soapbox and do the internet equivalent of barking random bullshit into a megaphone on a street corner while making it rain on passerby with pamphlets...case in point, look where you are. Yes, I figured out how to publish a book, but Superhead can say the same...the criteria's for "writer" a bit over her qualifications (she's more for the screen).

Nope, what I feel truly separates a career from a hobby is taking it in both hands. See, most hobbies, like building model airplanes or collecting Elvis figurines/sneakers/baby fathers, must be juggled with distractions like a day job. Though it may be something you love, you can't quite embrace it the way you would if you had both hands free for it...at the very most, you get it in one hand for a brief period before you have to throw it in the air again, if you don't end up dropping it completely because you can't concentrate on everything at the same time. (See umf August-February.)

Not anymore, y'all. Now, I get to take both my career and life in both hands, and I'm making use of both. This shit is about to go to the next level...I'm upping my post rate on both fanpages, started work on book #2, I even spent $60 on stickers yesterday. (Damn...that didn't sound as cool as I imagined. What I meant to type was "I got like 1,000 Fresh Uncensored Critical Knowledge for Your Life cover stickers printed up and I'm gonna give them out, tuck them in future sold books, as well as stick em all over this fucking planet, and I hope y'all can help me out.") I'm doing more promo than ever, and I'm not the only person who thinks my book is pretty damn good anymore...so I thought that was a pretty good excuse to start getting some of these printed up:

Check that shit, out eh? My personal f.u.c.k.'N shirt. No "C" for you (sorry, I called "captain"), but you can definitely own one soon.

Can't lie, I'm excited about that one. A lot of people wear thear hearts on their sleeves, but how many get to wear their minds on their chest? It'll be available on my new website in a few wee--oh shit, I forgot to mention the new website, didn't I? Um...yeah, I finally put out the $2 domain name charge (times is hard, man!) so there's gonna be a website now...ajmoses.com.

Going online in a couple weeks (you can be damn sure you'll know when), ajmoses.com will be the #1 source on the internet for...uh...well, if you can't figure that out, please don't visit. Updates on umf, "FfYL" and future "books" and projects, events like book signings, reviews, interviews, and...um...any other shit I trick people into featuring me in, a store (so people can finally stop asking me where the "buy" link is for the book..not that I don't love to be asked) and...well, a bunch of other stuff to offset the automatic douchedom that comes with having a website named after you that you created.

Like I said, I can't talk about everything yet, but that's about enough for one post, eh? (Shut the fuck up, you in the back who said "you only post once a month anyway"...you're almost right, but that's not nice.) I've always had ambitions as a writer, but I'm finally getting a chance to turn my ambitions into action. I'm taking this thing with both hands now...buckle up. Happy Friday, umf'ers!