"FfYL" Quickies: Part II, Chapter 2: (f.u.c.k.)- the Friendship Manifesto

What's good, umf'ers? It's another Wednesday (yes, I damn sure am going to act like I didn't skip last week) and that means it's time for another exclusive look at my book, "Fresh Uncensored Critical Knowledge for Your Life". Today you get to check out a something from Part II "For the People You Care About"...it's a chapter known as "The Friendship Manifesto", where we talk about...well, friendship.

It's a little something special I felt had to be addressed in today's world, when "friendship" can be something so one-dimensional as to fit entirely on one screen or another. Of course, when you really think about what a friend is, it's a bit more than just a digital acknowledgement that you're aware of a person's existence...but how much more? Well, this chapter is about exactly that...it's a declaration of friendependence, outlining the things one should consider before they use the f-word.

Chapter 2: (f.u.c.k.)- the Friendship Manifesto

While being a family member is (in the eyes of people who didn't read the last chapter) not a choice, being a friend is. Your friends are unique in the people that you deal with. They are the only set of folk in your life that is not required, compensated, nor employed to deal with you on any level…and yet, choose to do so anyway. At least, that's what a friend should be.

We all know what kind of people pass themselves off as "friends"...mooches, cowards, liars, backbiters, double-crossers, users, abusers, the foul, the fickle, the fiendish, and the otherwise F'ed up. It's more common that we should be comfortable with.

However, a good friend is worth more than the largest fortune...for one, it'll be very lonely making it rain in the living room of your palatial and empty estate. Also, if you don't know who you can trust, you'll lose it all anyway. Just ask Mike Tyson, if you can afford the postage to wherever he is now. Many people with high net worths find it worthless without people who care about them.

Surrounding yourself with people who take an honest interest in your personal endeavors can go a long way in life...but how do you tell if a person you are considering a relationship with (and being friends is a full-on relationship, don't tell yourself any different) is the right kind of guy to associate yourself with in your spare time? To that end, I present the Friendship Manifesto, a reasonably through (but far from all-inclusive) guide to what you can expect from your friends...and what they should be able to expect from you. All right, here we go.



The Friendship Manifesto

When in the course of human events, it becomes kind of cool to hang out a lot with a person you met a while ago and neither wants to have sex with the other, they become friends. We have undergone this process and accept the rights and responsibilities implicit with such a relationship. Allied in spirit, interests, activities, and likely preferred substance of recreational ingestion, we are now known to the world as willfully connected to each other. In so doing, we assume the combined and greater station which 2 like-minded people occupy upon forging such a bond...

...and I gotta stop you right there. There's plenty more to a friendship, so there's plenty to this chapter...but I can't give it all away for free. My art starves me enough as it is. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this free preview of my first consolidated collection of colloquial cerebrations, "Fresh Uncensored Critical Knowledge for Your Life". If you really liked it, check out the rest of the "FfYL Quickies"...and of course, if you liked it-liked it, you could buy the whole book for $10 (+ $5 US shipping). Aight til next time, people...f.u.c.k. yourself!